Spring time is here...kind of!

I love Tulips! (think what you may about my reasons, I love them.) 

It is that time of the semester again. The time when we are getting closer to Spring, which leads to Summer. This means that student motivation is decreasing while the work load it increasing. At least I know this happens for me but maybe I am the only one who experiences this feeling. I tend to think not, however. :) This time of the year makes me think about transitions. The weather is slowly moving from winter to warm sunny days, most of the time. There is a shift in the general mood of campus where things seem to be just a little bit brighter. Those sweaters and scarfs that were so anxiously anticipated not so very long ago, are now cast away to welcome shorts and sundresses. There is certainly an air of anticipation with the arrival of Spring. I love this time of year. Partially because I am more suited to warmer climates, ask anyone who knows me and they can tell you this right away, but also because this is a time of year when things that once were dead come alive again. It is the time of year when there is new life budding all around and the beauty of the creation is at a peak in my opinion.  It is a time of free Rita's (first day of spring!!) and walks in the park. A time to go and shop for all of the new clothes in those wonderful bright colors that are now acceptable. There are so many great things about this time of year but most importantly, it is the hight of the Christian faith in celebrating the death and resurrection of Christ.
(I have to confess, as I sat down to write this post I did not really know where I was going with my thoughts. I really did not have a plan but thought I will just go ahead and write about why I love spring so much. And I am just realizing some of these things as I go along!)
I have always loved Easter. Maundy Thursday services and Good Friday have long been times of worship that I look forward to and then Easter Sunday is always wonderful. Maybe this sounds like what I am supposed to say as a Christian, and even more specifically, as a pastor's daughter, but I do not say this because I am supposed to. I am telling you this because it is the truth. For me, the time that is spent in Holy Week reading and thinking on the death and resurrection of Christ is always some of the most spiritually nourishing time in my walk. It is true every year. Focusing on the suffering of the cross makes me overwhelmed with grief and gratitude at the same time. The words from the song "God, Be Merciful To Me" come to mind vividly." Broken, humbled to the dust. By thy wrath and judgement just, let my contrite heart rejoice, and in gladness hear thy voice; from my sins O hide thy face, blot them out in boundless grace." What a rich and beautiful song, and that is just one of the verses. The whole thing is full of this kind of language that really confronts me with what my longing is and my position as I come to God. That is heavy and hard to all take in, but then the news just gets even better. Easter Sunday comes and we are washed clean! Christ the Savior is Risen and we are made white as snow with his victory over sin. I mean just think about how awesome that is! No longer are we enslaved to the sin that we were just thinking about two days before. Holy Week is full of looking at the wonderful things that Christ did for us and the ways he loves us, it just keeps getting better and better. This is why Easter is always such a rich time for me. Just yesterday I was driving and listening to the radio when a commercial came on about Easter, it was something to do with ham and the chocolate from the easter bunny. I was overcome with disgust. It is so sad that our society thinks about a rabbit and ham when they think about Easter. I don't know what else to say about that except that every time I hear someone talking about Easter in these terms it makes me sad. (listen, Im not saying we shouldn't give kids Easter baskets or whatever. I am just saying that instead of telling them they came from some stupid bunny we should teach them about the empty tomb and love of our Savior. Enjoying chocolate at the same time is something I am totally in favor of, any time of the year!)
So I guess this post is all about how I am eagerly anticipating Easter and the celebration of our Risen Lord. This is why Spring is one of my favorite times of the year. This is my invitation to you to join with me in eagerly waiting for the coming King, at all times, but especially at the beginning of this season.

The Power of the Cross

Oh, to see the dawn

Of the darkest day:

Christ on the road to Calvary.

Tried by sinful men,

Torn and beaten, then

Nailed to a cross of wood.

This, the pow'r of the cross:

Christ became sin for us;

Took the blame, bore the wrath-

We stand forgiven at the cross.

Oh, to see the pain

Written on Your face,

Bearing the awesome weight of sin.

Ev'ry bitter thought,

Ev'ry evil deed

Crowning Your bloodstained brow. 

Now the daylight flees;

Now the ground beneath

Quakes as its Maker bows His head.

Curtain torn in two,

Dead are raised to life;

"Finished!" the vict'ry cry. 

Oh, to see my name

Written in the wounds,

For through Your suffering I am free.

Death is crushed to death;

Life is mine to live;

Won through Your selfless love.

This, the pow'r of the cross:

Son of God-slain for us.

What a love! What a cost! 

We stand forgiven at the cross.

I love this song! I put some of the lyrics in bold that especially stand out to me. Go listen to it. Do it! 

Remembering to Praise

Well as we have begun the month of February I have to say a lot has happened. The past week of school was full of assignments and nights when I was so totally stressed by how much needed to be done I didn't think I could make it through. But I did, like I always do, one way or another. And while it has truly been a much busier month school wise than it was before this month has also been much busier with life. But life in the great ways that make me stop and just thank the Lord for what I so often neglect to remember he has given me. Now I don't say this to try and sound super spiritual, trust me, I am not good at this but I am learning. I have so much to be thankful for in my daily life, I have great friends who are here in town with me, and amazing friends that are out of town and can still be counted on in every way. I am so thankful for the people God has put in my life. I am excited to share in major life events for those I have known since forever, and also to get to know more about the people I am just now getting close to and beginning to understand. I have been so blessed to be at the college I am, even if I am very ready to move onto my teaching career. Oh and I am so thankful that this college prepared me well and that through that preparation and God's grace I am now certified to teach! I passed the GACE and it is such a HUGE blessing to be able to say that, I may be finishing up random core classes but next semester I go into student teaching knowing that I really can do this for my career. It is an incredible feeling. I also know that I am so blessed by the family that I have and how they love and support me through everything. This stands out to me in particular since the last year has certainly been a trial when I never expected it to be one, health problems, life events, and all kinds of crazy have happened this year that I never could have gotten through without the help of my amazing family and the assurance of their unconditional love. Like I said before, I am not telling y'all these things to sound super spiritual, it is just on my heart tonight as I thought about the fact that I wanted to write here. It is so important to reflect on these things and remember how amazingly blessed you are and how the Father cares for you. I forget this so easily and tonight this serves as a reminder to myself more than anything.
I am reading the Jesus Calling devotional book that has become so popular recently. It is great and I love her short but direct method of writing. The other day the page said this:

"Come to me for rest and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone-weary. Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as an opportunity for me to take charge in your life.
Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good, including the things you wish were different. Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intended you to be. You will get through today one step, one moment at a time. Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your pathway. 
This sounds like an easy assignment, but it is not. Your desire to live in My presence goes against the grain of 'the world, the flesh, and the devil.' Much of your weariness results from your constant battle against these opponents. However, you are on the path of My choosing, so do not give up! Hope in Me, for you will praise Me for the help of My Presence." (Sarah Young, Jesus Calling, 2004--> just so it is clear that I did not write this section, it is a quote from her book!) 

The red I added in so that you can see what stood out to my in particualr. I can't even remember how many time I re-read this page on that day and how it has stuck with me sense then. She always includes scripture at the end of each day and for this day she included these two:

Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

Psalms 42:11"Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation, and my God."

I don't know about you but that is super encouraging to me! Today in church the sermon was on learning to live a life of praise. How we should try to pass on the virtues of looking up, not looking down on others, and of being a commercial for God. It was a great sermon to make me think about how much time I spend simply praising God, and that I need to remember that I am a member of the royal priesthood of God, as a member of the family of God. Each member of his family is part of this priesthood and as such we ought to reflect God. God has pity on us and that is what makes us his people, nothing else. The Father has mercy on us simply because he does. It is amazing isn't it! And it is a freeing thing to realize too. 

Anyway, I have probably written for too long now and I do have classes tomorrow. I just wanted to share the encouragement I have been receiving in the midst of a lot of hard emotions that I am dealing with and re-addressing for what seems like the 7 thousandth time! So lastly I want to share one of my very favorite worship songs. Listen and remember how beloved you are by the Father in Heaven and thank him for his new mercies every day!

"How Deep the Father's Love for Us"

So this video might not be my favorite but the important thing is the lyrics

not the pictures that someone put with them. Personally I recommend listening to the song

while doing something else and not watching the video necessarily. 

Coffee, Class, and Contemplation...

This is the local Starbucks where they have an idea of who I am.
It is one of my favorite places to go, which is no surprise.
I have already been there three times this semester.

So here we are, it is the first day of the new semester at Covenant College. I have had so many first days of new semesters that I have honestly lost count. The sun is shining and the air is brisk but not so cold that you want to run back to warmer climates. I am settling into the "big room" all on my own. Trying to make the most of the extra space that I now have since I am roommate-less. It is a tough transition to make from living with the life of the party to being in the party room all alone. My door stays open but people seem to pass by more than stop in, but not everyone. Of course we are all working on getting into the stride of the new semester and I am personally working on my tendency to close off some. Currently I have gotten back from supper and am trying to find a way to fill my time before my lab meeting at 8:00 (which is not a time that I would like to be heading back out into the cold night for two hours) in Astronomy. I guess I brought the night lab on myself with that one but it was truly the best option for my lab science requirement this semester. Other than my class this afternoon, Intro to Musical Theater (That is going to be a fun one!), to fulfill the Fine Arts requirement I have not had much to do today. I got coffee with a friend and talked about all the usual things: student teaching, God's calling-like the good CC students that we are- and I'm sure I don't have to detail the other topics that cross the table. I've been making plans and dreaming big for my time that I will have this semester so hopefully at least some of that will work out. It is kind of crazy to think that I only have two more semester of college left. It isn't that long and at the same time it feels like an eternity. So many people tell me to just enjoy the last little bit of school while I can, I understand the wisdom and perspective of this advice. At the same time, I am sure I am not the only college student ever who did not share this view of things. Don't get me wrong here, I know what I have going here is great and I am very happy about a lot of it, however, those people who tell me this is the best time of my life are clearly romanticizing college and have blocked out the hard things. I know all of life will be filled with the mixture of great and not so great, as well as downright horrible, so I'm not saying life will be perfect once I have finished these last two semesters. What I am saying is that I feel pretty ready to move on and see what life will be like past these last two semesters. I am planning to enjoy and soak up the great things that come with being in college, such as not having to be anywhere before 9 in the morning and being able to go grab coffee in the middle of the day with a friend. I will do my best to learn from the classes that I am taking, I am looking forward to most of them in fact, and I will finish out school well.
This is really all I have to say, I will enjoy the experience but I do not think I will lament the end of the experience as much as so many have in the past. That feels valid to me.
For now, that is really all I can think to say but seeing as I have a light schedule this semester I know I will be back soon to write some more. When a topic come to mind!

Welcome to 2013

Christmas has come and gone. The New Year is here to stay. I spent Christmas with my whole wonderful family. We had such a great time of being together and catching up on life. I loved it. Watching Mack open presents was so exciting and spending some one on one time with my sisters was so valuable to me. We went to see Les Miserables, my all time favorite. I cried about four times (this is huge! I don't cry in movies typically). Seriously, go see it.  We played games with all the siblings and spouses. I snuggled my nieces. It was a great three day vacation. Then it was time to come home and I have been busy ever since. I am heading back to the mountain in the morning. I can't say I'm too excited about it but I think I will be when I get back. This semester will certainly be easier academically than the last, but relationally it will be a lot different. Most of my closest friends will be student teaching and my roommate will be gone since she is done now (Yay for her!) It will mean that I will have to be intentional about relationships and making time to see people. I'm not great with that. I should be better considering how many places I have friends from moving all my life but I just get focused on those who are right in front of me and often don't remember to reach out to those who are not, even when I think of them constantly. (So if you are one of my long distance friends, know at least that I do think of you regularly)
Saturday is my 23rd birthday. That is crazy! And like a real adult I will not be sleeping in or doing whatever I want all day, I will be taking my teachers exam for Georgia. Yikes! I have looked at my notes some but not nearly enough, good thing I have a few more days for that. But once the test is done it will be time to go out and celebrate with some of the best girls I know who will also have just survived this exam! It will be much needed by one and all. I can't wait for it to be behind me.
Another area that I need to be more intentional about is daily time in the Word. I have ordered a daily devotional book that Mom recommended to encourage me to spend that daily time, even if it is just for a few minutes. It will at least get me in the right direction I am sure. The book is called "Jesus Calling" and it sounds great to me. I am excited to get it and start in on the readings. (unlike the twelve textbooks that I just ordered-yes, 12!) I can tell that He is calling and I am going to do my best to answer like a faithful bride. Pray for me!

Time flies when you are a student...

Wow, so I am not good at this! I knew it had been a while but I can't believe I haven't written since August. I am sure most of you have given up on reading this, but oh well. I can post now.
I just finished what can only be described as one of the best and worst semesters of my life. School was insane and the amount of working and classes that I had nearly sent me over the edge more times than I can count. At the same time I worked in a 3rd grade and a 5th grade class and loved it! It made the crazy school work worth it. I so looked forward to Tuesdays and Thursdays (Okay well most of the time anyway). My kids were great, and the ones that were hard were always some of my favorites! They all just made my heart cry and rejoice at the same time. I can't wait to be working in a classroom with students every day. It is hard to believe that not so very long from now I will be teaching on my own. I still have a semester of core classes to take before starting to student teach but I have to remember that isn't very long.
I wrote my Senior Integration Paper (AKA The Paper of CC) and got to research recess. I started out by looking into Classical Education but couldn't find the research I needed for it so I had to change my topic half way through the semester. That was stressful but it worked out in the end. I did well on my SIP and found out that I am very passionate about making sure students still get their breaks every day even though many states no longer require the time to be taken in the day. I also wrote a management plan and did some tutoring with a student in reading. Those were huge steps for me! I taught lessons and loved on my kids the best that I could. I could spend  a long time telling about them but not here. If you want to hear stories you will have to ask me in person!
Aside of the school side of life this semester was a roller coaster of personal drama! All I can say is that God is definitely working on teaching me about his perfect timing and will in my life. I have been angry, confused, hurt, and finally attempted to be submissive to what he is working out in my life right now. There have been tears of joy and surrender along side tears of uncertainty. I have learned a lot and  have a lot more to figure out from here. He is far from done with working in me about these issues. The biggest lesson right now is waiting for he is God. I'm not a very patient person so waiting can be a problem, much more than I ever knew before these past few months. Isn't is amazing how the Lord teaches his children and sometimes they don't even know it is happening until they are in the middle of the lesson. It is pretty amazing to me to see how he has taught me.
Lastly, I grew in amazing friendships with people from my church and the rest of the girls in my major. I have truly been blessed through these amazing people and their love for me in the midst of troubled times, just as much as they are in the times of joy. Not to mention the ladies on my hall and my roommate who is now done with school. I don't know what next semester will be like without her but I do know it will not be nearly as laugh filled. I love these people in my life so very much and thank God for them daily!
Well, I am home for Christmas break it and it wonderful. I am getting the rest that was so lacking in the semester is wonderful. I have time with my parents that is uninterrupted and I get to be with my great friends from home. I love Christmas and the time to be with people, even though it gets so busy! I have lots of plans that will keep me busy and then I go back to take my exam to become a certified teacher (Ah!) in the beginning of January. I will spend my 23rd birthday away from family which will be hard but it is all a part of growing up. I am ready to grow up...most of the time. For tonight that is really all I have to say but I have been meaning to write for a few days. Merry Christmas all, in case I don't write again until the summer ;)

The Healer is at work

So it is almost 1:30 in the morning. I haven't used this blog in about 5 months, though I have thought of writing in it often. I can't sleep, for the thousandth time this summer. And I'm thinking about my difficult appointment with the cardiologist on Friday. This was the first time that I left the appointment feeling that my life would not be almost the same as any other person who was born without a heart disease. We found out things that had never been brought to our attention before and they were hard things to hear. Such is the reality of being one of the very first of a group of children who had a successful recovery with a new procedure shortly after it was developed. Things are being discovered now about what life looks like for those of us with hypoplastic left-heart syndrome and have had the Norwood Procedure (I put that link in so that if you have any interest you can get an idea of what I'm talking about). I won't go into the major details here. This is just to say that the Lord is preparing me for big things I never expected to be facing as an adult. I am really leaning on Him through this hard time and depending on Him to use the new information for His glory and my good, as he promises he will. 
It is hard to believe that summer is coming to a close. On Tuesday I will drive back up to the beautiful Lookout Mountain and get back into life at school. I am excited and nervous about this new semester coming up. It will be very full of work. Hopefully it will also be bursting with great fun and growing friendships. As usual I have not started packing and I only ordered my books for the semester this evening. Every new semester I am determined to be prepared early, and every semester I procrastinate until the last minute. Somehow it all falls into place in spite of me. 
As I am sitting here and typing all I can think to say is what a great God I have. It may seem trite to say that. I hope not. I truly mean it and am amazed by His love for such as I. Even when I am questioning His plan for me He is working it out in a way that becomes clear in time. Sometimes it is a quick view into how He worked and sometimes it takes years for it to be revealed. Even in the midst of the struggles I am facing now I can see how Jehovah has protected me and worked things out for my good. It is truly amazing. And the sad part is how quickly I forget this. 
Well it is very late and I am sure that most of this post has been a bit confusing. I am having trouble putting my thoughts in order (which is a big part of why it has been so long since I last posted). I just knew that tonight I wanted to write here and have a conversation with whoever may be listening (reading, really) at this point. 

It is a big day at Covenant College

The anticipation of students, faculty, and staff on campus has been hanging in the air all week. In the fall Dr. Neilson announced that he would be stepping down as President of Covenant College this summer. The whole student body was saddened to hear this news, but also excited about what the change could bring. Who would they get to replace Dr. Neilson? What changes would be bring? and many other questions I am sure were running through everyone's mind. I know I certainly was curious about the whole process. But as the semester progressed and classes started to be more challenging everyone seemed to forget for a while the change coming on the horizon. We all went about our daily routine with little thought to who would be coming next fall. Well, not all of us, the board was working diligently to find the man that God had for the school as we enter into this new chapter. There were lots of applicants and after months of deliberation and prayer, today was the day that the new president would be announced to the student body. All of the excitement of the board being on campus this week and the mysterious e-mail sent out yesterday certainly kept everyone on the edge of their seats as they waited for Chapel today. The whole room was buzzing with chatter as you walked in, when it is typically quiet. And when the chairman of the board walked on stage the whole room listened intently. He described the process and the great features that made the man they had chosen stand out above the other applicants. The whole room applauded in a show of gratitude and love for the Neilsons who we are sad to see go. When he finally announced that Dr. J. Derek Halvorson had been selected to be the new president of the college everyone was ecsatic. Dr. Halvorson gave a wonderful short speech to express his gratitude for being selected. Overall it was a wonderful ceremony to honor two men who have and will serve the school well for the sake of The Kingdom. I am so excited to see what God has in store for Covenant over the next couple of years that I will be here.

Here is a video of the Chapel from today for whoever is interested:

And here is a short clip from Dr. Halvorson:

Hope y'all enjoy those clips and join in on both the bittersweet goodbye to the Neilsons, as well as the excitement of welcoming the Halvorson family to the Covenant community.