So it is almost 1:30 in the morning. I haven't used this blog in about 5 months, though I have thought of writing in it often. I can't sleep, for the thousandth time this summer. And I'm thinking about my difficult appointment with the cardiologist on Friday. This was the first time that I left the appointment feeling that my life would not be almost the same as any other person who was born without a heart disease. We found out things that had never been brought to our attention before and they were hard things to hear. Such is the reality of being one of the very first of a group of children who had a successful recovery with a new procedure shortly after it was developed. Things are being discovered now about what life looks like for those of us with hypoplastic left-heart syndrome and have had the Norwood Procedure (I put that link in so that if you have any interest you can get an idea of what I'm talking about). I won't go into the major details here. This is just to say that the Lord is preparing me for big things I never expected to be facing as an adult. I am really leaning on Him through this hard time and depending on Him to use the new information for His glory and my good, as he promises he will.
It is hard to believe that summer is coming to a close. On Tuesday I will drive back up to the beautiful Lookout Mountain and get back into life at school. I am excited and nervous about this new semester coming up. It will be very full of work. Hopefully it will also be bursting with great fun and growing friendships. As usual I have not started packing and I only ordered my books for the semester this evening. Every new semester I am determined to be prepared early, and every semester I procrastinate until the last minute. Somehow it all falls into place in spite of me.
As I am sitting here and typing all I can think to say is what a great God I have. It may seem trite to say that. I hope not. I truly mean it and am amazed by His love for such as I. Even when I am questioning His plan for me He is working it out in a way that becomes clear in time. Sometimes it is a quick view into how He worked and sometimes it takes years for it to be revealed. Even in the midst of the struggles I am facing now I can see how Jehovah has protected me and worked things out for my good. It is truly amazing. And the sad part is how quickly I forget this.
Well it is very late and I am sure that most of this post has been a bit confusing. I am having trouble putting my thoughts in order (which is a big part of why it has been so long since I last posted). I just knew that tonight I wanted to write here and have a conversation with whoever may be listening (reading, really) at this point.
